PPD Update

Post Partum Depression effects more women than people realize. Many are ashamed to talk about it and get the help they need. The stories that you hear on the news about the women who kill their children are not a common occurance. However, if you have PPD and do not get help, it can turn into something very dangerous.

Once I realized something was really wrong we called my OB. They got me in to see her the same day. She assured me that this happens to women but that her expertise would not be enough to help me. Before I left the office they called around to different psychiatrists AND psychologist to try and get me an appt ASAP. A psychiatrist can prescribe medicine, and psychologist. A psychiatrist presribes medication a psychologist does not, but it is imporant to receive both forms of treatment. Unfortunately, many of these types of doctors do not accept medical insurance and to see a psyhiatrist alone would be $400 and we did not have it at the time. I went home and made some phone calls myself. One of the therapists (psychologist) called me and informed me that her fee was $150. Knowing that I would have to see a therapist more than once, this was not something we could afford, but would do what we could to get me the help I needed. I was infront with her that the cost was an issue for us. She called back a little while later and told me she had called my insurance and got them to approve her for payment! We believe this was definitely God working. I got in to see her the very next day and after talking and crying and admitting things that I could hardly bare to admit, she agreed that I had a severe case of PPD. I had a hard time believing it. She assured me it wasn't my fault, but I felt like it was. I felt like I was a horrible person and a failure as a mother. She told me it was very important for me to see a psychiatrist and to come and see her. She promised that I WOULD get better.
The nurse practioner from my OBs office called to see if I had gotten in to see a pshyciatrist and I told them that I was having a hard time getting them to cover someone. Boy was she upset! She told me it was unacceptable and that she would call them if they didn't have an answer for me within the hour. She called me back pretty shortly after that to tell me she found someone who could see me. There is a psychiatrist in the same building so she walked over and called me from their office to ensure I got an appt. Tell me that isn't the LORD working. These people really took the time to help me and I feel so grateful. Soon I began both treatments. I was put on medication but I was still experiencing some severe symptoms and I was put on a very low dose of an antipsychotic medication. Within 3 days I felt so much better. While they were fleeting, I had moments where I felt like a normal human being again. I was only on that medicine for 2 weeks and it made a huge difference. I am still on an antidepressent. It is recommended that I stay on it for a year, as it can take that long for a womans horomones to return to "normal." I say normal because we women are always crazy! =D
Gwendolyn will be 5 months old in a couple days but I love her SO much. I feel so much better and I have been doing well for a couple months now. I still get overwhelmed sometimes but I believe that happens to any new mother. If you are experiencing depression please talk to you doctor. At times it can seem like you will not survive, but with proper treatment, you can and WILL get better.
Ricky and I prayed through this terrible time and believe God played a big hand in my healing. He provided ways for me to get help. Everyday I had to say "this is not my fault. I will get better" sometimes I didn't believe it, but eventually I did.
People can be judgemental but that is their problem. Do not be ashamed to seek help and comfort. Some people did not receive my honesty well, but for those who did, they provided support I desperately needed. Only Gods judgement matters, and He loves you no matter what.